I Feel Old!

Today, Oldest Kid turns 9 years old.

Where the hell did that time go?

Seriously, it seems like just yesterday that I went into labor with the little squirt, petrified of the pain and all that jazz, worried he'd be really small because he was 3 weeks early, and worried I'd have to settle for my MIL as my labor coach, because Hubby was working out of town and my mother was a basketcase. Thank goodness, Hubby made it in time and Oldest Kid was a little 5lbs. 13oz., but healthy as can be. Oh, and it labor wasn't all that bad with him. Now, my daughter, she's another story, but I digress...

I just can't seem to wrap my mind around the fact that I have a 9 year old child. Yes, I know how old I am...I know the numbers add up and all that. But, holy crap, I have a child that will be shooting a gun in 3 years (12 years old in WI). He'll be driving a car in 7 years. And I'll have to worry about girls somewhere in the middle. It's just...unfathomable. I mean...I certainly don't feel old enough to have had a child almost a decade ago.

Gawd. It's pretty freakin' depressing. I mean...I'm a mom. And not a young one anymore either. For cripes sake, my kid is halfway to gone and I feel like he just got here. Sigh.

I can only imagine how I'm going to feel next year when he turns 10. It'll be worse than turning 30 myself, I just know it. :(

Mom or not, do you ever take a step back, look at your life, and disbelieve that it's your own? Do you ever have a hard time grasping the reality of your age and how much time has gone by since you were actually as young as you feel you are? Reassure me, people!!

My, OH, My...

Lookie who I found last night while searching for new music to write to?






Uu-uuu-uuu-hhhh-hh-hhhhh... (that's me shiver orgasming in my seat :), BTW).

I know I'm a bit of an odd duck when it comes to my taste in men--at least the ones I use as inspiration when writing, because Hubby looks nothing like this guy...or any guy I've ever used as hero material--but this guy--Rich Luzzi of Rev Theory--just freaking does it for me. Ripped? Check. Crazy hair? Check. Bad-ass ink? Oooh, yeah. Sexy as hell voice? Holy hell, yeah. Click here to hear for yourself.

And, no, I don't just like him because he's hot. I actually heard the song first--when watching another hot guy, Randy Orton of WWE, who you may or may not know epitomizes male perfection in my book, arrogance and all. Sigh. I can't help it. I'm just a slave to tats and muscles and raw, sexual naughtiness. Don't pretend you don't have your own weaknesses. :P

Anyhow...the point of this whole post is that, while I don't know what I'm going to write on break, I now know who my hero will be modeled after. I'm thinking I should stick with what he's good at and make him a musician (then I have more reason to keep listening to Rev Theory, too), but I haven't cemented it yet. Cabana boy maybe? Masseuse?

Sigh.

Holy Long-winded!

Long time, no see...er, blog...huh? Seems I disappeared into the great unknown for awhile. Okay, so not really the unknown...but homework and kids and work all that jazz. You know...life. :)

Anyhow, I apologize to anyone who might have actually been concerned, though, come on...you know how shitty I am about blogging. It's more likely that something's wrong with me if I actually blog, like say, more than once a week. Or a month. Whatever. Just want to clarify that all is well in Jolieland. I've got a week left of school before break and, sweet Jesus, am I ever looking forward to it! Not sure exactly how long I'll be off--I'm thinking close to five weeks--but rest assured, I will be enjoying every second of it.

That said, I'm hoping to get a lot of reading done between now and next semester (my last one, I might add, thank you very much ;) ). And when I say a lot...I mean A LOT. Like half my TBR. Er...at least a quarter of it. Okay, more like an eighth, considering what once was a single shelf of books is now two...with about half that many laying around on the floor of my bedroom. Hey, I've been busy. And I'm addicted to buying books. I can't help it. And besides, it could be worse, could it not? I could be an alcoholic, drinking margaritas all day long, right? Hmm...that actually doesn't sound that bad, does it? :)

I'm also thinking about trying to write again. I say 'trying' not because I was struggling (I know...ROFLYMFAO), but because I just didn't have time. And I know...according to one Mr. Stephen King...a writer that does make me not. Or however that's supposed to go. And while I could go on and on about my plans and my excuses and whatnot, nobody really gives a shit (or at least...I'm not any different than anyone else with my trials and tribulations, so y'all can relate on some level, I'm sure, to why I've pushed writing aside for awhile). And you probably know, too, how damn hard it is to stay away from something you love so much. Pain in the ass that it can be sometimes. And that, my friends, is why I'm thinking I need to spend a little time on the horse again during my break. Might not get anything done. Okay, probably won't get anything done. But words are words, are they not? Someday they've gotta add up to something, right?

So, I haven't decided what I'm going to write yet. I think a novella maybe...something short and sweet. Something that won't be dogging me--hopefully--once January 12 and the winter semester rolls around. I'm also thinking of a Christmas setting too, because, hello, there's inspiration all around me right now. That said...I'm also thinking of doing my own version of NaNo since my time is limited. How nuts is that? I mean, really? I haven't written in months and I'm thinking of setting myself up against a pretty steep challenge right off the bat. But, as I said above about the words adding up...someday I've gotta succeed too, right? :)

And now that I've written probably the longest blog in the history of this blog...I bid you adieu. I won't make any promises, but my guess is that I'll probably be a tad better about blogging for the next few weeks. So...come back and feel free to poke sticks at me. I'll probably need it. :)

Much love...

It's Official...

Well, maybe not quite, but pretty darn close. Close enough that I can brag anyway...that my baby is no longer a baby!! She's a big girl now and she's got the Dora underoos to prove it!! Happy dance, happy dance...

This is such a bittersweet day for me. I've been waiting for her to overcome that last "baby" milestone and potty train, since she's my third and final bambino. I couldn't wait for this day, knowing that all the baby days would be behind me FOREVER. But now that it's actually here...it's kinda sad. Don't get me wrong--I'm still super stoked that I've bought my last pack of diapers. But potty training Kate signifies the irrevocable end to the baby years in my life. Oddly enough, this is a bit more sad to me than getting my tubes tied. LOL Obviously, even if I wanted to do the whole breastfeeding and midnight wake-up cries and diapers all over again, I couldn't. But I just never expected letting go of Kate's early toddlerhood to be this...well, depressing.

Before you know it she'll be driving and wanting to exchange Dora for Victoria's Secret. And while I have two sons, both of whom are older than Kate, it's her I'm really worried about growing up. She's such a little witch now I can't even imagine her at thirteen and sixteen. She's going to drive me to drink, that girl. I just know it.

Anyhow, I digress. :) Please keep us in your thoughts tonight, as we're flying sans Huggies tonight for the first time ever. And stupid Mommy didn't think to put her in jammies that she could pull up and down easily in the middle of the night (she's wearing zippered footy jammies) if she should actually wake up and have to go (not holding my breath on that one though--I'm expecting screams of wetness at 3 am). Just send all your mommy mojo my way, will ya?

Am I Crazy?

After changing my mind approximately ten gazillion times, I am now a Human/Social Services and I will graduate after I complete a required internship, which I plan on doing next summer (so I don't have to drive a ton in the snow and all that). So, the past couple of weeks I've been trying to figure out where I could do the intership (I live in the boonies) and, well, there aren't a ton of options. Or at least not many that appeal to me. I'd really love to work in the county office, but, alas, I live an hour and a half away from the county seat and that's just not going to happen. :( The only real options I have close by are nursing homes and, to be honest, the elderly are just not my thing, not to mention all the Medicare hooplah I'd have to muddle my way through.


So, I was searching online last night (hoping to broaden my horizons) when a job posting for a local business I'd completely forgetten about popped up, nearly knocking me off of my stool. This place is absolutely perfect for an intership, as I'd get lots of exposure to several different areas of the social services field. This place is also less than a half hour away. Oh, and did I mention that, if I got a job there, I'd be a federal employee with better than decent wages and benefits up the wazoo? Sounds great, right? It is...if I can get past the fact that it could be potentially life threatening.

See, this place is for delinquent teenagers from all over the country, some of whom should be in prison for crimes they've committed (though some just had really shitty home lives, too). There are even more guards than staff at this place. Get the picture?


The craziest thing of all? The more I think about trying to intern there and potentially getting a job when all is said and done, the more excited I'm getting. I've met a few of the girls who've been there when I worked at the OB/GYN office and, while it's obvious that they were "rough around the edges", they seemed to be fairly decent. I think I'd actually enjoy working with these kids. It could potentially be a very rewarding job.


Am I crazy to think this could be the place for me? I'm really hoping that I'll end up with a job wherever I intern, so I want to make sure I make the best decision possible when choosing. What do you think? Would a place like this scare the crap out of you? Or would it challenge you?

45 Days To Go...

Until I'm done with this semester of school. Sigh. I thought I had less, so realizing this is pretty darn depressing. But, alas, there is nothing I can do, except make the best of it, right? Oh, and maybe finish up my online math class early. That would cut down on some of my anxiety. Maybe. :(

Anyhow, I got a major bug up my butt to write today (cranking the radio while driving always does that to me), but then I talked myself down. I would inevitably become frustrated beyond belief...again...if I even tried to dig in right now with everything else I have on my plate and I just don't want to do that to myself. I feel like I've come such a long way from the hair-pulling, near hatred for writing that I felt earlier this year. I am really looking forward to having some time between semesters...in only 45 days...to get back into things. At least for a little while. I don't want to ruin that time before it's even started.

So, I know I'm not the only one out there who has taken time off from writing to live in the real world. If you've done it too, how long were you on hiatus? What got you back into the game? Did you think the time off was to your benefit or your detriment?

Oh where, oh where...

Has my little life gone? Oh where, oh where, could she be? :(

Seriously, what the heck is going on around here? My alternate life in cyberspace has nearly completely disappeared. I mean, I am hanging on by a teensy weensy little thread here. I feel entirely out of the loop. I haven't logged onto forums I used to "haunt" religiously. I obviously haven't been blogging (as you can tell). Needless to say, I haven't written a single word (of fiction, for leisure) in God only knows how long. Gah. Just...gah.

The thing that gets me is that fall is my absolute favorite time of the year and it's almost come and gone right before my eyes (I live in Northern WI, y'all--I saw snow flakes floating around a couple days ago). I LOVE to write in this kind of weather. I feel most inspired to do so when it's cool and fresh outside. Granted I usually prefer to write more...goody-two-shoes kinda romance in the fall (the whole nurture/nesting thing, I guess), but, hey, something would be better than nothing, right?

But, alas, there's not point in doting on things I can't change and right now I can't change to fact that school, work, kids and "real life" have got me completely...well, tangled up. :P I don't know if I'm coming or going lately. And, at the moment, I'm sick. With the normal cold/congestion crud notorious for popping up this time of year. I feel like I've been in a fog for like...the past three months. Okay, so maybe that's a bit of an exaggeration, but seriously...I've been quite dazed and confused for a good week.

Sigh. There's that pointless doting again, huh? Time to quit, right? :(

I'll change the subject by asking what you all have been doing lately. I haven't been blog hopping in forever, so how about throwing me a bone and just filling me in here? Pretty please...